hello goodbye

at the end of the day. its still to the same few i turn to for comfort. and its the same few who can comfort me. just that over the past year i lost one who used to mean the world to me. by fate, by choice, by the situation we're in. and we can never go back to where we were two years ago or four years ago. its another chapter that's been closed. no more i miss yous. how are yous. hellos and goodbyes. we shut each other out one time or another during the years we've known each other. this time it seems to be for the last time.

i'm tired of holding up these walls. i want more of days like when we went kite flying, cycling. or the days of flying off the tramp. hurting everywhere. prancing around in the dance studio. bsb concerts. i hate feeling so detached from everything. probably by choice though. i'm not making much sense.

my mind now drifts back to that walk i took alone in cambridge that night where everything fell apart. the lights. the smells. the cold air. it just felt right. like i belonged. how i miss the twinkling fairy lights. the soft christmas carols. the stars in the sky. the hot chocolate. the comfort that it all brought.

a broken four leaf clover. what does it mean.

the smell of freedom is in the air. so is xmas (:

: wild horses :: natasha bedingfield :